Herpes is one of the most stigmatised STI’s. But According to WHO (2015), two-thirds of the world’s population have HSV-1.

Disclosing your STI status can feel intimidating. So here are some tips on how to have the conversation.

Sex is not supposed to be painful, no matter what kind of genitals you have.

We’re going to look at what causes sexual pain, what Vaginismus is, and how to manage it. Please note that the suggestions made in this article should not replace professional support.

This blog is based on a research paper I wrote in my sexology post grad. In this blog adaption, I’m going to introduce you to the subculture of BDSM, and why its features actually make for safer sexual culture than mainstream sex.

Heteronormativity is when heterosexuality is considered the ‘norm’. And because of this, we are raised with an increased exposure to heterosexual relationships, which further perpetuates our belief that it is the norm.

But the kind of heterosexual relationships and sex we have been exposed to is usually limited, and prescriptive.

Many people assume sexual function=sexual response. But these are two different things that are often not included in our sex education.

Sexual function relates to the physiological and biological occurrences in our bodies and genitals that are required for sexual activity.

Sex involves one or more bodies. They’re the vessels that facilitate the pleasure we all hope to experience. But often people’s perceptions of their bodies act to distract them, and at times can contribute to performance anxiety.

It is often the case that when couples have fostered intimacy, there is less focus on their sex life. However when couples report feeling ‘distanced’ from one another, a lot of focus is placed on their sex life, and how sexually dissatisfied they are.

The body's central nervous system has several stop-and-start mechanisms that help control biological responses to our environment; the dual control model being one of them. To understand sexual response, we can observe the relationship between the sexual excitation system (SES) and sexual inhibition system (SIS).

Performance anxiety can be maintained by a cycle of avoidance. This usually involves a difficult or negative experience where anxiety was first experienced, and where anxious symptoms occurred. Some avoidance behaviours can creep in, like avoiding sex altogether.

You may have heard of the ‘pleasure centre’ of the brain, systems of which lead us to move toward different stimulus that feel good, or move away things that feel bad. This stimulus can vary depending on each person, and therefore I refer to it as ‘default’. It’s whatever stimulated us at the time that our pleasure centre liked enough to pursue further.

So to understand arousal, it requires each person to recognise the psychological (stress, attitudes about sex), social/cultural (messages about sex), biological (hormones and neurotransmitters) factors. As well as whether there is sufficient sexual stimulation through senses like touch, sight and smell.

Sexual distress is a term used to describe any sexual concern relating to arousal, desire, orgasm or pain. In my practice, and in my research on female sexual dysfunction (FSD), I found that the term sexual distress described a plethora of issues, from experiencing sexual pain, to difficulty reaching orgasm.

In a modern society where hardworking women are time poor and rely on dating apps to meet people, sexual success is often obscured by social barriers. A feminist identity should encompass the values you hold close, and shouldn’t be pitted against the next person’s.

The best way to explore your nerve clustering is to masturbate. Masturbation is fucking dope. Get into it. The other way is to practice with a partner. Ask them to mix it up a little through different oral sex techniques, or alternative sex positions. If you need guidance on these topics email me and I’ll consider writing a blog on it, but generally just engage in these activities without a goal in mind. See it as an opportunity to learn about your body.